


The Land of Rewrites and Unexpected Pool Guests

by ConfusedMinion



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Humanstuck, Mentions of past abuse, Merfolk Eridan, Swearing, Violence in Later Chapters, culture clash, mental health discussion, mention of medication
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-24
Updated: 2015-08-30
Packaged: 2018-01-26 09:43:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1683791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ConfusedMinion/pseuds/ConfusedMinion
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Karkat Vantas is an over worked and underpaid website coder. His only saving grace -to both his recluse lifestyle and his wallet- is his crappy romance novel franchise written under a pen name. Eridan Ampora is the Prince of an underwater kingdom with the unfortunate habit of harassing swimmers and straying too close to shore.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

His father, whom he had always considered a wise man,  would always say that the value of a man could be measured by his determination. In the opinion of the older-much-less-wise brother,  determination - and strength of will following, was measured by how many vices a single person could abstain from.  The best definition according to Karkat Vantas, however, simply boiled down to how long a person could ignore things.

So when a shrill rendition of "[Flight of the Bumblebee](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EtnAtl-AgVA)" screamed out of his phone at no later than six on a Saturday morning, Karkat  knew the time to prove his worth had come.

Minutes crawled by and he waited, counting the seconds with gritted teeth beneath his pillow. A single, tired eye glared out at the mobile device mere inches away. The capability to reach over and silence it was there, the effort it would take miniscule. That would be the same as admitting defeat, the bastard on the other end would somehow know. Karkat wouldn't submit, he was going to win.

Despite the struggle stubbornness prevailed and his bed room was silent once again. Satisfaction filled him as he replaced his pillow beneath his head, and he fluffed it for good gloating measure. He laid back down, pulled up his comforter, and closed his eyes. Victory had been his this day.

A heartbeat later and his eyes flew open as the hellish tune began again somehow louder and higher pitched than before. Despite his best efforts at self control he seized the phone in hand, preparing fully to chuck the thing out the window when it mercifully stopped howling. Unable to comprehend his salvation, though completely willing to accept it, he changed the ring to silent and tossed it onto his nightstand instead. The clatter it made was loud enough to make him flinch, but his exhaustion counterbalanced the regret of having to possibly replace it.  

He hadn't managed to lay down again before the buzzing started. It vibrated along the wooden top violently, bouncing off the hard surface and magnifying the noise as it danced in manic circles. A more patient person would let it go, shut it down and let the matter be. Karkat Vantas however, was not and had never been anything other than a tired, frustrated, and angry little man. In this moment as in every moment before, patience was not listed within his virtues.

"Please tell me Captor, since I absolutely have to talk to you right now, what in the name of sanity's ever loving suspiciously phallic shaped fuck you finger do you want?" was his greeting.

"Thuck my dick athole. Where do you think you get off taking that tone of voithe with me after what I've gone through today? Do you know what time it ith? I hope you goddamn do by now but I'll tell you anywayth. It'th thix-thirty and I've had to deal with thith for two hourth. Bathic math Vantath, how long have I already been awake becauthe of you?"

"Fuck you Sollux I haven't done a thing. I've been here, in my bed, all night. Do you know what kind of night I've had, by the way? Here in my bed? This hangover you are so graciously aggravating should be enough of a hint to a so called genius such as yourself. Of course it isn't because you are actually the biggest moron the universe ever decided to spawn. I've had a god-awful night, thanks for asking."

"No I know exactly what kind of night you've had. I've been fixing it for, oh, an hour now? Did I mention I thtarted tranthlating your drunken gibberith code at five-fucking-a-m? Becauthe I really need to thay I am almotht imprethed at the dumb-fuckery I thee here. Drunk KK maketh thober KK'th coding thkills look nearly competent."

"Holy fuck you dick munching douche waffle that was seven levels of uncalled for."

"I will thhow you theven levelth of uncalled for! Why the hell were you drinking in the firtht plathe?"

"Since you apparently feel entitled to my personal business and life choices..."

"It'th no longer your perthonal buthineth when it fuckth with mine."

"It's our business remember? My publisher called yesterday evening, and, fuck." It was too early to deal with the wave of anger and disappointment that washed over him, and he rubbed at his forehead as he recalled exactly why he had taken to drinking in the first place. "He rejected my manuscript. The final one, told me to scrap it and give him a new one. I have thirty days or the company isn't going to renew my contract. I'm sorry I fucked with the coding, I wasn't thinking straight and that wasn't cool of me."

"And now I'm an athhole. I'm thorry KK, talk about being a thuper unreathonable thhit bag."

"Takes one to know one you hypocrite."

"I'm trying extheptionally hard to be nithe right now, don't puth your luck." The line was silent for several moments and then Sollux sighed. "Look I'm thorry I harathed you thith early, I wath lathing out becauthe I wath pithed. Not cool of me either I know. Are we thtill friendth?"

"Yeah, we're still friends." Karkat replied. "I was just... I don't think I have another novel in me right now."

More silence and then Sollux sighed again, deep and long as if he carried the weight of the world on his scrawny shoulders.

"Go back to thleep for a while. I am, at leatht for a few hourth. When I wake up I'll head over there around noon, one o'clock. I'll bring thome cheap thitty beer and burgerth alright? We'll talk about a new novel and everything."

"Yeah that thoundth fine I gueth. I'll have the cooler and the grill ready for you, tho thee you then."

With the call ended Karkat attempted valiantly to return to sleep. As the minutes passed and the room gradually lightened with the progression of dawn he knew the futility of the pursuit. From there he naturally decided screaming into the pillow was the next best course of action before flinging it across the room. It's best efforts aside, the dullness of the plush's thud against the wall left Karkat's rage unabated. With the blankets thrown off with an attempt at violence and the manliest stomping he could muster, he reached the bathroom and slammed the door with a satisfactory bang. The crash that followed was alarming enough to abate his rage and encourage him to face the day like the adult his twenty-six years claimed him to be.

The following ablution and dressing was performed with a level of calm he didn't feel, and with the time still hovering  before seven he descended the stairs to the main house. A cursory glance at his living room gave a glimpse into more details of the previous night then he wanted to remember, and shame burnt his cheeks as he stepped around scattered paper and empty beer bottles on the trek to the kitchen. The disaster in there was less encompassing, but with pounding head and irritation rising he moved straight to the deck and down into his yard.

With destination in mind he snagged a nearby pool chair and pushed the gate open, stepping onto an empty beach. Red was bleeding heavily over the gray horizon, oranges and yellows muted in the vibrancy of the crimson shade. He dragged the chair onto his dock, settling it just past where small waves lapped onto the sand, tips whitened with foam.

The wind that blew inland was just on the comfortable side of chilly, helping his sluggish brain into a more attentive state. The tension bled from his shoulders as he relaxed as his headache abated. As dock rocked gently from the movement of the ocean surrounding it he reflected on the raw power that lay around him. A small portion of his mind wondered about what monsters could be lurking out past the end of the structure, what horror was waiting with teeth or tentacles to drag him to his death.

Feeling more awake he pushed himself to his feet, forcing himself to wander further out along the planks. He distracted his discomfort by inspecting where wood had gotten worn and rotten and what needed repair. As he strayed closer to the end he fought to calm his racing heart, the water deep enough on both sides to have no sign of the bottom. The darkness of the depths before him left the question if the shelf dropped off here.

The sound of breaching water came from behind and he turned, a shout escaping his lips as silver raced at him. A fish landed squarely at his feet flopping around helplessly, seemingly confused at its predicament. As he struggled to get his heart rate under control Karkat coudn't stop himself from feeling a bit sorry for it.

A nudge from his foot had it plunged back into the depths with enough timing for him to know that everything hated him. A great shadow passed beneath the waves, and Karkat felt the nope rise hard and fast as it moved back beneath the dock. The only thing that prevented him from sprinting back to land was the thought of somehow falling into the water with the monstrous shadow. Nonetheless he moved as quickly as he could, stopping to look back only when he reached the sand. Only then did he dare pause to look back to see a dark fin pierce the surface and vanish again.

"Survival of the fittest, dumbass." he told himself, and retreated to the safety behind his fence.

When Sollux finally arrived Karkat had taken to swimming laps to curb his boredom. The grill was sitting to the side, smoke wafting from the coals that had been burning too long. The once well iced cooler was now stocked with the kind of vaguely warm water that only the heat of the sun could supply.               

"Do you know what time it is?" Karkat asked when Sollux appeared at the railing above him. "To be fair you just might not own one of these contraptions that can answer my question, but if that's the case you should really fucking look into getting one."

Completely unfazed at the outburst, the other descended the stairs as Karkat hoisted himself from the pool, drying himself with a towel. Huge dick though his best friend may be, Karkat was really glad to see a giant bag of ice clutched in his hands.

"Two o'clock, and yeah I know I'm late. EQ and NP were having ithueth with their thatellite equipment and they called to athk if I could help them thort it out. Plot twitht, I didn't manage before I realized the time and left."

Together they dumped the lukewarm water from the cooler, and as Sollux hoisted the fresh ice he motioned back up towards the kitchen.

"The grill ith ready, right? I left the beer and food up there, care to grab them? I tried to put them in your freezer but there wathn't any thpace."

"Of course it's ready it's been ready for an hour. And what do you mean no room? I haven't been out for groceries all week."

The only response he received, aside from an unconvinced 'if you say so' was a pair of raised eyebrows. Inside he found the items requested sitting on the counter, and with his curiosity peaked he opened the freezer door to see what his friend had been talking about. His following cry of dismay was followed by obnoxious barks of laughter below.

"Where the hell did these things come from?" Karkat demanded when Sollux appeared in the doorway.

"Fuck if I know, I jutht got here." he snorted, taking the burger packets. "I didn't even think you liked fith fingerth."

"I don't." Karkat protested, following the other back down into the yard with the drinks. "Fish fingers are as much fish as I have horns growing from my head. Nada. Satan himself would not feed them to the most deserving of damned assholes out of pity for their palates. They are a personal insult to the deliciousness of fried foods everywhere."

"One box frozen fried fith fingerth, two ninety-nine." Sollux recited, a long strip of paper appearing in his hands.

"Where did you get that?" Karkat asked.

"Your living room. By the way that very thame thing is written here, twenty-four more timeth. The total, if you mutht know, ithh jutht over fifty dollarth. Charged to the credit card of a Karkat Vantath, whom altho made uthe of the coupon 'buy twenty-five boxeth of frozen fried fith fingerth for two dollarth and ninety-nine centh and get twenty-five perthent off the total.' Thith wath clocked in at four-fifteen in the morning."

Karkat buried his face in his hands and groaned as his friends calm facade was betrayed by increasingly hysterical giggles.

"Are you saying that I got so drunk that at some point before four in the fucking morning I saw a coupon with the lousiest deal possible displayed happily across it's misleading face, for a thing I despise passionately by the way, and felt that it was perfectly rational to leave the house and walk a mile to the store and buy these things. Then in that stupor I just forgot about them until just now, upon their rediscovery?"

"Yeth it theemth that way."

"Past me is a fucking idiot."

As the day wore on Karkat and Sollux got down to the hard job of relaxing and enjoying each others' company. When the burgers had been started and the beer on ice Sollux announced the decision to  swim and began stripping himself of his clothing.

"Where is your shame?" Karkat demanded, handing his friend his trunks. He averted his eyes as the boxers went. "We're outside for fuck's sake, this is indecent and I for one have very little desire to see your pale ass."

"For one thing you have thith ridiculouthly tall privathy fence," Sollux motioned to the tall wooden barrier surrounding  the property with the hand holding his trunks, and Karkat buried his head with the embarrassment his friend didn't feel. "Tho no one can thee a damn thing from the road. You don't even have neighborth to make thith argument underthtandable. For another, if there ith very little dethire it meanth you thtill want to."

"I have neighbors, and no ew don't you fucking dare flash it anywhere relative to my direction."

"Thure, but you have to drive a few minuteth before you reach one. The only real purpothe of your fakey thafety fenthe ith blocking off the thecond only redeemable feature of thith place. My trunkth are on tho you can thtop covering your eyeth like a fucking baby now."

"I'm not a baby! And what is this oh so great feature I am literally dying to know."

"The fucking ocean view that celebritieth routinely ruin themselveth over."

 Sollux dived headfirst into the pool, surfacing quickly to start his own set of laps. With him occupied and the food without need for tending, Karkat wandered to the door leading into the garage. It was mostly empty since he didn't own a car, and the only real thing that occupied it was a shelf covered with junk and a worn old [Sunfish](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sunfish_\(sailboat\)). Ignoring the  boat he took a radio from the shelf and returned to the grill.

Sollux swam over to greet him as he fiddled with the tuning knob.

"It's a damn novelty you have thith ath thalt water inthtead of that chlorine thhit."

"It'd be more hygienic if it were chlorine."

"Yeah but the chemicalth alwayth burn my thkin until I have nothing but a thcratchy red epidermith. Beauty like thith ithn't eathy to maintain and your pool ith a nethethary part of my thtruggle for the ladieth."

"I'm glad I know why you come here. I'm sure the nerdy, hunchback twig is definitely the epitome of sex appeal."

"Actual fucking adonith, that ith me. No muthic today?"

"Nothing's coming in I can only get static." Karkat scoffed, giving up on the radio.

He returned it to the garage before going back to the grill. He gauged each of the burgers, flipping the ones that were ready. Sollux climbed out of the pool behind him, handing him a beer before sitting nearby to dry off. Karkat took a swig, grimacing at the flavor. He set it down not wanting to contemplate the implications of drinking more beer while suffering from a lingering hangover.

"This is really shitty beer."

"Only the betht of the wortht for you, KK." A pause. "Can I athk you a quethtion without you completely flipping your thhit?"

Karkat gave him a dubious look and shrugged.

"Why the fuck not?"

"When wath the latht time you cleaned anything, becauthe that ith not the houthe of thomeone who taketh that into habit. I've known you thince we were ten, I am the complete thlob between uth and you don't get to take my title."

"I don't remember." He admitted quietly. "I didn't have a lot of time trying to finish that fucking manuscript and when there was a moment I never felt like grabbing the broom."

"The manuthcript that'th thcattered in pieceth all over your living room? Yeah I thaw it don't give me that look. I thought they thigned you on for five bookth."

"That was my fifth book, way to keep track of my publishing achievements you shitty excuse for a best friend. They said it wasn't up to my standard quality, and if I couldn't prove I was still good then they were going to find fresher and better talent coming out of high school."

"Harth," Sollux offered. "and complete bullthit. I mean I've never read any of your work but I bet it'th fantathtic."

"Worst best friend ever."

"Hey I fully thupport you! I'm jutht not into that romanthe genre bull crap, never have been."

"But that's the thing!" Karkat erupted, and he felt as though a plug had been pulled on his emotions filling him with an anger he couldn't control. "That's the most fucked up part too! First they tell me I need to broaden my reader base with a different type of story and I do! I pour my goddamn heart and soul into a new subject and suddenly it's not good enough? 'Go back to what you did kid,' they told me. "Old dog's don't learn new tricks.' Apparently trashy romance novels are all I'm good for!"

He kicked at his chair in rage, aim off and sending it into the grill instead. The cooking apparatus wobbled dangerously as  a few of the meat patties fell to the ground.

"Damn it!"

"Hey now calm down KK." Sollux said, forcing him to move away from the grill. "Not only are you inept at coding and writing but let'th throw not having temper tantrumth onto the litht. Jethuth fuck I thought you would have grown out of thith by now."

Barely had the words come from his mouth that Sollux knew he had overstepped his bounds.

"Fuck you! If you were only coming here to be an ass and rub my issues in my face then you should leave."

"Hey, hey KK." Sollux breathed, arms on both Karkat's shoulders, attempting to lock eyes with the other but he stubbornly looked away. "Look I'm fucking thorry, I know I thay all the wrong thingth and I'm not patient enough to help you with your thit, but you really do need to fucking calm down and thtop flipping out after thethe thorts of thingth happen, alright? Not every bad thing ith the end of the goddamn world."

Karkat breathed out through his nose in a way that made Sollux's hurt, but he finally met their eyes and nodded slightly. Sollux smiled at him in return.

"Are we still friends?" Karkat asked quietly, cheeks burning at his own outburst.

"Of courthe we are. If we weren't I wouldn't have brought burgerth to thave you from your fith finger obthethion."

Karkat opened his mouth to retort but was silenced by the sound of the [Nyan Cat](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QH2-TGUlwu4) theme. Sollux released his shoulders and moved to get his phone from his pants pocket.

"Hey NP did you get your equipment working?"

While Sollux spoke to Nepeta, Karkat busied himself with cleaning up the spilled burgers and tossing them into the trash. By the time he returned Sollux had was frowning and glancing out past the fence. He motioned at Karkat, mouthing at him to not bother with any more burgers. Curious he sat with his feet in the pool as the other spoke with increasing speed.

"Uh huh, yeah, no, I'm with him I can tell him. Are you sure? Yeah that's fine one second," Sollux held the phone out to Karkat. "It's NP she wants to tell you something."

"Hey Nepeta." Karkat greeted. "It's been a while. How's it going?"

"Not very good at this moment, Karkitty." Her voice was the same as he had last remembered, high pitched but not unpleasantly so with a girly playful quality to it. "You need to go inland tonight. We are tracking a really bad storm right meow and it's turning to shore, we think it'll land early in the evening."

"How bad will it be?" Karkat asked, Sollux was already throwing unused lawn chairs into the garage, turning on the grill to get the food off of it. He could hear her hesitate before answering, as if gauging how honest she should be. In the background he could hear someone gruffly asking for the phone.

"Hello Vantas." the new voice was deeper and more rough then Nepeta's, an air of superiority underlying in the tone.

"Hey Equius. Tell me straight, how screwed over am I going to be if I stay here tonight." Sollux has started dragging the grill after the chairs, he knew it had to be something serious.

"Your house may not be there in the morning, you may not be either if you decide to stay." Leave it to Equius to be as blunt as possible. "On stilts or not the estimated flooding means it won't be safe. I would suggest you take shelter with someone in the city. Preferably not with me, or Nepeta."

"You're so pawful sometimes!" Nepeta shouted in the background.

"Don't dally there long either." Equius resumed, the first tint of concern bleeding into his voice. "You know how quickly these spring storms can arrive, and how violent they can be."

"Thanks for the warning, I'll figure something out." The call ended and Karkat handed the phone back to Sollux. "It always amazes me how quickly you can put your clothes on, like you have a lot of practice doing so... I guess I need to check into a hotel tonight."

"Can you afford that?"

"If I don't care about having power for a few fucking days I could." Karkat took a deep breath to steady himself, but when released it sounded more like a scream. "Fuck!"

"Why don't you call your dad, or Kanaya? Thtay with them for a night or two?"

"My dad would drive me fucking crazy. Ever since the incident he acts like if I leave his sight I'll vanish off the face of the Earth. I'll be smothered if I go there, and fuck if he will let me leave again without a huge fight. Kanaya has finals coming up, so does Rose. They don't need me fucking their shit while already so much pressure."

"Alright then, there ith the obviouth tholution. Thtay at my place. It'th thtill near enough by and far enough inland that the thtorm won't be tho bad, and we come by and make thure the plathe ith thtill inhabitable in the morning. I'll even throw in free pizza and a thhitty rom-com movie, to thweeten thith already rad ath fuck deal."

"I need to pack a night bag, and I need to secure the storm shutters. You sure you want to deal with this level of train wreck for a whole goddamn night?"

"I've dealt with worthe. Did I tell you about the time I had to unthcramble a drunk guyth attempt at coding at five in the morning?"

"For that you're buying real pizza," Karkat felt his spirits brighten, actually laughing with Sollux as they secured the house together. "and I mean with real toppings and not any of that fish or pineapple shit. Just good old fashioned pepperoni and sausage."

"Fine you culinary panthy princeth. I will buy boring vanilla pizza for you."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sollux and Karkat wait out the storm in Sollux's apartment and have an awkward heart to heart. In the meantime Nepeta and Equius are crazy and Eridan experiences the ramifications of poor life decisions.

"Do you want another thlice?"

Thunder cracked overhead and Karkat shook his head.

"Shit's soggy."

Sollux cast an uncertain glance at the dripping pizza box. He made an attempt to open the lid but the crumbling cardboard split instead. Grimacing, he tossed the whole thing into a trash bag.

"It could have once been classified as food." Karkat offered, glancing up from the television. "I thought he was gonna fucking murder you."

Sollux thought back to the delivery guy, standing in front of the resident-access-only after-six building during the downpour.

"How wath I thupposed to know he wouldn't have a car? When we ordered the thing it wath thtill only thprinkling." Sollux threw himself onto his couch, Karkat shifting over to offer him more space to pout. "Thith wath a louthy wathte of fifty buckth."

"There there you blubbering goddamn pansy." Karkat patted his friends' knee in mock comfort. "You didn't have to tip the guy so much."

"Honestly, I thought he wath gonna fuckin murder me too if I didn't."

Karkat laughed a little and Sollux grinned, stretching his long arms obnoxiously and dropping one behind Karkat's head. The other man scowled at him but did nothing else and Sollux considered it a victory. They watched as news crew went out around the city, talking about the crazy weather like they thought their viewers didn't notice the pounding rain against the windows.

"You couldn't pay me enough to do that godforsaken job." Karkat sneered as the camera showed them the wind chucking a billboard several feet. "What kind of brain damage do you need to go and think to yourself 'well it looks like the planet is trying to kill us today, I'm going to go out and say hello!' Fucking morons all of them."

"NP and EQ do it all the time. Exthept they typically go after thunderthtormth and tornadoeth in the Midwetht." Sollux pointed out, then with an attempt at a deeper rougher voice continued. "They have very THTRONG windth there, the true dithplay of the POWER and MAJETHTY of nature."

Karkat laughed at Sollux's impression.

"And they smile while they're at it! Bat shit insane, I am telling you!" He threw his hands in the air to convey his feelings, but the harshness of the statement was softened by the fondness that filled his voice. "They were on the cover of National Geographic with Aradia weren't they?"

"Yeah and their car wath flipped and battered to hell."

" And that makes them fucking crazy!"

The news switched to the main room, where the meteorologist attempted to explain that while the storm seemed like a hurricane it wasn't actually one. Sollux turned the volume higher but they could still hear the wind whip the rain against the walls, and every blast of thunder caused the glass to shake. Grainy cell phone footage showed ocean pouring over beach barriers and onto the roads and Karkat buried himself further into the cushions. Sollux roped his arm around his shoulders and squeezed a little.

"Want to lothe againtht me at thuper thmath brotherth?" Karkat stopped watching the flash flood warnings move across the screen to glare at him.

"No, I would much rather sit here and watch the pompous weathercaster tell me the exact moment I become homeless. Better yet! Let's wait for the amateur video of my house being swept out to sea, that would be much more satisfactory right now then just pretending nothing is happening and kicking your ass at video games."

"You are not going to be homeleth." Sollux sighed. "It'th not even a hurricane out there. Okay - tho what it floodth, the othean crawlth the quarter mile to your houthe - which ith fifteen feet off the ground - and it'th fine. At motht you need to replathe your grill, which theemth like a bad thing exthept it barely workth. Remember when it blew off your eyebrowth? I remember when it blew off your eyebrowth, it'th a piethe of thit and you need to replathe it anywayth."

"What about my garage?"

"Fuck your garage, fuck the newth, and fuck thitting here and worrying. I'm putting on thome goddamn cartoonth."

"If you change it from this weather report I swear to God I will break your shitty bifocals." Karkat all but snarled, shoving Sollux away from the remote.

"What the hell." Sollux said as he picked himself off the floor. "You put up a lot of thit with me, I know. But you have never been a goddamn cake to handle either, and rethently thingth have gotten worthe. Now if the latht decade-and-a-half hath meant anything to you, then you are going to anther all of my questionth right now."

His friend did not look at him, instead focusing on the floor.

"Karkat!" Sollux barked, and as the other flinched he softened his tone. "Have you been taking your medth? Like you haven't gone off them right?"

"That's a really hypocritical thing to ask me mister happy-one-second-depressed-the-next."

"We're not talking about my thymptoms we're talking about yourth, becauthe your houthe? Not the rethidenthe of thomeone who hath their thit together. Not to menthion the paranoia, the increathe in your rageth. The KK I know would never tear apart a manuthcript jutht becauthe thome crappy editor didn't like it, he would thove it up their ath and make them publith it afterward. When wath the last time you thaw Rotha?"

"I haven't seen her in a while." Karkat admitted. "I stopped taking my meds too, ages ago. I felt like they were clouding my head, I couldn't think so I tossed them. It was fine for a while, but then the nightmares started again and at first they were manageable but then... well he started appearing in them."

"Gamzee?"

"No-"

Thunder ripped directly overhead, a cannon bursting through the rampages of the storm. Karkat jumped so violently Sollux had to keep him from tumbling off the couch. They both listened to the noise of the storm, the noise of the television, but the noise felt like nothing to Sollux as the things his friend wasn't saying rang even more heavily upon his ears.

"Not Gamzee." Karkat said eventually, speaking slowly. "Gamzee is never really a big part of them. They're more like, like I am being slowly suffocated and caged in as the dark comes crashing in around me. The more I try to hide the more I drown in it, and every time I feel like it's the end, he appears with that huge terrifying grin on his face to drag me to hell. After that I always, always wake up screaming and I can't get back to sleep."

"Tho the bagth under your eyeth?"

"I'm too scared to sleep now, especially at night. It's so lame and childish but I can't fucking sleep if I can't see my surroundings and I can't sleep if it's daylight as if my biology won't let me. Fuck! I just wanted to get my life back together, Sollux. It's been ten years and I'm so fucking sick of living with this much fear."

Sollux frowned, looking for the words to say. He must have been making a face because Karkat buried his face deeper into his arms.

"Don't not say anything. It makes me feel even worse."

"I think..." Sollux paused, still searching. Living with fear was terrible, and even with his own shitty life he was still afraid to say the wrong thing to his friend. "You can't avoid being afraid, not after thomething like that happened. If it'th really affecting your life that badly you need to go talk to Rotha, and get back on your medth. Call me a hypocrite for thaying tho, but I wath a wreck when I went off mine and now that I'm back on thingth are uthually pretty okay."

"Yeah but it's never always perfect."

"Lothing my father the way I did wath hard KK," Sollux breathed in deeply through his nose, careful to keep his voice even, "and what happened to Mit wathn't fair either, but you have to - HAVE to - learn to live with it. It'th never going to be alwayth perfect, but it can at leatht make thingth more manageable. Thometimeth even have good dayth. It'th better than not living at all."

"I make no promises." Karkat muttered. Sollux snorted and offered his arm, which Karkat accepted with a huff. "It's fucking cold in your apartment."

"Have to keep my computerth from overheating. Oh hey look there'th your houthe!"

They both watched the television as the news crews recorded the ocean sweeping over the beach and towards the familiar building, ignoring the reporter as they exclaimed their excitement of the power and energy of the storm.

The first wave hit the fence on the outer perimeter and Sollux gently squeezed Karkat to comfort him. The waves lapped higher and soon the entire backyard was flooded. The camera panned away to show the nearly submerged roadway before panning back.

"Thee, not a goddamn neighbor in thight."

Sollux's attempt to defuse the situation as a wave - bigger than the others - slammed against the fence line, wood boards collapsing. Another followed, pushing the surf right into the stilts of the main structure. Karkat's breath caught as they stood against the onslaught, the ocean surging around the front and past the driveway and cutting it away from dry land.

"At leatht it ithn't a grainy thell phone video."

"Not helping. I really actually might be homeless." he breathed. "Goddamn I didn't actually believe..."

"Tho move into my thecond bedroom." Sollux cut him off before the rant could really take off.

"What?"

"You don't want to move in with your dad or with Kanaya and heaven forbid you even conthider Kankri the awful prick. Move in with me. I have that thpare bedroom, and I can move my offithe out here it'th not like I uthed the dining room for anything anyway.

We may be two theparate walking dithasterth but we can be dithasterth together."

Karkat laughed and Sollux felt a small thrill of victory as the others' shoulders relaxed a bit.

"I'll consider it." he said, the corner of his mouth twitching into a small smile. "If the place is gone then I may."

"Good to hear that your thit for brainth can thtill protheth a reathonable line of thought to my - and might I add - exthtremely generouth offer."

"I really fucking hope it's still standing tomorrow, just to save me from being in close proximity with you and your train wreck of a lisp."

"It'th a dithability athhole. I'm gonna call your brother and tell him you are dithrethpecting me and my totally actheptable thpeech patternth. Triggerth are all up in here."

"Oh my god." Karkat groaned, covering his face with his hands. "If you honestly did that I would throw myself off the end of my dock."

"No you fucking wouldn't. You hate the othean jutht ath much ath I do."

Karkat thought back to the giant shadow he had seen just that morning and he had to agree.

"I would most certainly not throw myself off my dock ever at any time," he conceded, "and I understand why you hate it but I don't actually dislike the ocean, I just don't trust it anymore." There was a pause as he squinted at the television screen. "Is that... is that Nepeta's van?"

While the ocean had ceased rising and the storm overall looked as if it was beginning to plateau, the weather was still violent. Massive waves crashed against the flooded roadway as rain pounded down like falling sleet, driven ceaselessly by the wind. A news van without network logo was driving through the dark surf, battling through the water that threatened to pull it out to sea. A large figure could barely be seen on top of the vehicle, holding a camera focused on the house, Karkats house.

"Thothe crathy motherfuckerth." Sollux breathed. "It'th a hell of a way to thow how much you care. You better get your thithter thomething nithe."

"Half-sister." Karkat said smiling. "And goddamn it mom is going to kill me."

 

 

His father had warned him about the dangers of being close to shore during a storm, how the water could change and become a dangerous beast. He had never disbelieved his old man, and he hadn't meant to be in such shallow water when the storm had landed. Things as they were though, Eridan Ampora knew that if he could not reach the calmer depths of the open ocean soon he was going to be in a lot of trouble.

Despite his experience in swimming the currents and dangerous tides of the shallows, Eridan found himself being tossed and beaten by the water surrounding him. His powerful form fought back, twisting and propelling himself away from the land just as viciously. Thoughts and worry ran through his head, and he fought himself to keep the panic from overcoming him as he lost the small headway he had gained. The water pulled and his tail lashed both rock and air as he thrashed and he knew this was a battle he was going to lose.

The rain battered him as the ocean pulled back, pacing away from the land like a dancer before crashing forward again to meet its partner, crushing Eridan against the rocky beachfront and knocking the breath from his lungs. There was no time to regain his bearings before the water retracted again, exposing him fully to the surface world and then he was being battered, tossed and rolled against the surface sand and weed as he was forced further and further away from salvation.

Would his father know that he was dead, or would he assume he had just gone off on his own again?

There was no time for reflection or regret as the ocean - hadn't they once been lifelong friends? - slammed him against a creaking barrier. Once, twice, a third time and it broke around him, searing marks across his skin and scales. Pain burned through him and settled into his bones, too deep to bother focusing on anything else.

When the ground dropped beneath him he did not stop himself from sinking to rest. The current was still terrible in the strange salvation he had found, but as he nestled in a corner he found it preferable to being dragged and battered about. A quick check revealed his glasses were missing, a second to also realize his scarf was gone too.

The irritation over his missing items was quickly overridden as it began to really sink in he was still alive, and though he could see the ocean move above him in a blurry churning mess he could wait until it quieted some. He could wait - he decided as his eyes drifted shut as exhaustion overwhelmed him - for the storm to ease and he would slip back to sea in the tide. Just like that, he would escape and return home and he was comforted by the thought even as he fell asleep in his foreign sanctuary.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey sorry about the late update, I wanted to get this posted before I left for the week. It's like 2 am so I don't know the quality but I hope you enjoy anyways!


	3. Chapter 3

The first thing Sollux registered was that his back was sore and all he could see was an unpleasant close-up of the fibers in his carpet. Standing turned out to be a surprising challenge, his body unhelpfully reminding him he wasn't a teenager anymore.

Rubbing at his spine he glanced over at his couch, no sign of his friend but blankets he used were folded into a haphazard pile. He glanced around blearily, trying to shake the remainders of sleep. He glanced over towards the dvd player, the number ten flashing merrily to him.

"How'd you thleep KK?" He called. No reply came and he shuffled into the kitchen, the scent of strong coffee giving an immediate need to fulfill. He poured a cup before continuing his search.

"KK?" There was no sign of shouty life within the apartment, and only his pair of shoes occupied the entryway. Tiredly he drifted to his room and sat on the edge of his bed, sipping from his coffee as he glanced around. "He could have thaid thankth at leatht. 'Gee Thollukth, I really apprethiate you letting me thtay inthtead of flipping a tit at the thcary thtorm all by mythelf in my thtupid thtilt houthe.' Thuck on thith hothpitality KK becauthe I'm never inviting you again."

It was a lie, Sollux knew, but it made him feel less lonely and more vindicated in thinking so. He drained his coffee and walked back to the kitchen. He browsed through his mostly bare cupboards before opening his refrigerator. Sitting atop a wrapped plate of bacon and fried eggs was a note, and Sollux reluctantly acknowledged he was an asshole.

 

 _Good morning sleeping ugly. I waited fucking hours for you to_  

_wake your lazy ass up, but I have shit to do and waiting on you isn't a_

_part of that. I'm going home since I'm sure as shit there's some infuriating_

_cleaning activities I'm going to need to do. So, yeah, I made you coffee and_

_breakfast because I appreciate you letting me stay._

_Later - Karkat_

 

"What a goddamn adorable jack-ath." He tried not to smile, he really did.

 

Two hours later found Sollux sitting in his jeep outside the house he grew up in, debating whether to knock on the front door or chickening out while he could. The house was the most interesting on the street. Three stories tall and painted a red so bright it was like fire trucks in parades, with the accents as solid teal. It was an eye sore but Red-mom had never been especially talented at color theory. That wasn't a necessary skill for a judge anyway, and Sollux would never be brave enough to attempt telling her how terrible it looked.

"You don't need to go in." He spoke to his windshield. "He'th not going to remember you vithited anywayth and you'll jutht get a headache." He smashed his forehead against the steering column once, and then again for good measure. "But I'm the only family he hath left, and Dad wouldn't have wanted me to thkip out jutht becauthe I wath uncomfortable and he'th inthane. He would thay that would be cowardly and dithpicable."

Reluctantly he emerged from his car and walked to the front door. To what little credit he could claim, he had only hesitated for a moment before raising his hand and giving two sharp knocks. Music could be heard inside, something with a heavy bass line and indiscernible yelling. The place was always loud, as if silence wasn't allowed to exist there.

If he was honest he would admit it was a reason why he liked Karkat so much, with that much volume there was no way he could focus on darker things. He shuffled his feet impatiently as he waited for permission to enter, jumping in place to dispel his anxiety before knocking twice more.

"Coming, coming! Jeeze bro hold your horses. I know it's you, Sollux." The door opened and he was greeted by Latula's hand raised into the air. He left her hanging with a grin on his face and she engulfed him into a hug as retaliation. "Sup baby bro? It's been a while since you came by, was starting to miss you some."

"Some?" Sollux groaned, trying to wrench himself free from the overbearing grip. Finally he maneuvered his head from her serpents vice and stumbled to the side. "Fuck, Latula have you been lifting weighths again? You're leth woman and more gorilla at thith point."

"Hahaha, take that back you little shit." she punched him in the arm which Sollux believed proved his point thoroughly. "But nah, I'm back in training for the 'extreme boarding extravaganz,' you should go it's coming up in like a month."

"Fuck that thit. That thing you jutht thaid? That thing thoundth terrible. Nothing would be more contemptible to me right now then doing that thing you jutht thuggethted."

"Then why are you wearing the Skate-o-rama t-shirt I gave you after the last competition?"

"It'th the only one that pathed the thniff tetht."

"I totally believe you bro." Latula shrugged. "So what you here for? You don't really make it a habit to come and see us."

"Well," Sollux shifted his weight, "I'm here to thee MT, actually."

The joviality dropped from the others face as Latula leveled him a look, a frown attempting to pull down the corner of her mouth. Sollux shrugged his shoulders and she sighed before stepping back, clearing the doorway.

"Are you sure you want to spend the day like this, kid? It may be better for both you and 'Tuna to just forget about it. I mean, it's hard on the both of you."

"No." Sollux said firmly. "No it'th not what dad would have wanted, uth being tho theparated like thith. I can," he took a breath, "thith, I can do thith much at leatht, jutht for today. I can thtop avoiding thith thubject for one day of my year."

"If you're sure..." Latula looked at him doubtfully and he held himself straighter. She smiled at, patting the top of his head for emotional support. She had to reach up to do so, so Sollux leaned over to make it easier for her. "He's in his game room working right now, if you can get him to speak to you I'll be impressed. He seems like he just doesn't want to talk to us of late, especially if he doesn't have to."

"Thankth for the warning, thith. I'll at leatht try to communicate, if he doethn't rethpond I'll call it a year." She followed him down the hall and towards the room where the music blared from, ushering him inside. He looked back at her and she planted her hip firmly against the door frame. He was on his own.

It had once been the family room, Sollux knew. There had been some bookcases and comfortable chairs when he had still been a kid, but now the books were gone and the room was encumbered with junk. Game systems and cartridges were piled everywhere covering the shelves, furniture, and floor. Sollux had to step around snack wrappers and discarded soda bottles. In the epicenter of the chaos was his older brother.

"MT!" Sollux yelled over the music. It was coming from a stereo stashed in a corner, and with some difficulty turned the volume to a more manageable level. He turned and was greeted by Mituna glaring at him from beneath his hair. Before he could say anything the other returned his attention to the television. Latula gave him an unhelpful thumbs up from the doorway, and he took a moment to pinch the bridge of his nose before approaching his brother.

"Hey MT." Sollux greeted as he took a seat beside the other. "It'th been a while, how've you been?" He waited before speaking again. "LT tellth me you work ath a game tethter now, it'th cool that you were able to find thome work."

He was studiously ignored once again and Sollux groaned in frustration.

"Fuck'th thake Mituna, what'th with the thilent treatment?" Out of the corner of his eye he saw Latula motion him back but he shook his head, mouthing back he wasn't done.

On the screen was a indie-like side scroller, a sixty-four bit stylized disaster. The image moved so quickly the player could barely keep up. At first he assumed it was meant to be an extra challenge, but when the whole thing glitched the player right out of the screen he knew it was just really shitty coding. Mituna threw down the control snarling as 'game over' flashed in front of him.

"Fucking piethe of thit! Where doth developerth get thethe abtholute thit ideath? Retro flathback thtopped being cool forever ago, thothe douthenovel fuckwifferth. Keep to the timeth you goddamn fathe fuckerth!"

"Maybe it'th jutht too much for you to handle." Sollux said in response to the outburst. Mituna swiveled violently and fell over, the shock on his face making it evident that he hadn't realized Sollux had even been occupying the space next to him.

"The fuck you doing here ath-licker?"

Sollux winced at the others lisp. Unlike himself who'd always had the impediment from his overbite, Mituna had only developed one after the incident. Sollux was reminded how much it made him dislike speaking to his brother, but pressed on anyway.

"Nithe to thee you too bro." He picked up the games case and studied it. "Tho what thort of perthon maketh thuch a broken thide thcroller? The graphicth are terrible."

"Thom thtupid noob. Look at their company, independent. A bunch of grown ath lotherth thitting in their momth bathementh jacking off inthtead of acthually thinking about what they're doing."

Sollux eyed the room around them and decided not to point out that Mituna was also a grown man residing in his other-mothers family room.

"It looked like the coding wath done with a hand down their panth, yeth." Sollux instead conceded. "A glitch that immenth taketh a conthiderable level of thtupid to achieve."

"You thought that wath bad you thould try the retht, like how can thith level of incompetenth be natural?" Mituna handed Sollux the control and reset the system. As the screen loaded Mituna actually grinned at him, and Sollux found himself grinning in return. "Good luck dumb ath."

The first thing he was introduced to was a character creation page. From what he had briefly observed before, this was the only place the creator had taken any real time on. Sollux selected a lanky demonic figure with pale skin and a set of double horns. The shirt he selected was yellow and striped like a bee, and for embellishment he added an electric field around it. When he tried to move forward the game insisted he select a sweets theme, so he selected a honey-like goo that dripped from its hair. Finally, it switched him from the intro screen before launching straight into the game, not giving him any time to select start on his own.

The goal of the game seemed to be the collection of points through destroying objects with a giant lollipop, which his character wielded with the electricity. Apparently it wasn't purely an embellishment but a fighting method, which impressed him slightly.

The neon candy colored coated vomit landscape left much to be desired, though.

"Thith ith tho thtupid." Sollux commented. "What drug were they on when they dethided thith wath a conthept they thould purthue?"

Mituna snickered beside him before grabbing the second controller.

"I know, right? Thith ith the wortht thing I have ever played." He joined in as a random second player, and the game mechanics seemed to shift from destroying everything to making other sprites like the avatar. Cherubs - of all things - flew around them in nonsensical patterns, and only after smashing them with the lolli-sword several times would they transform.

"Hey MT, pretty thure I can thlam your ath at thith pith poor game."

"You're pith poor Tholluckth." Mituna countered. "Your thkillth are ath lame ath your perthnality. Thuck my dick pother."

They played together for nearly an hour, alternatively harassing and cheering each other on. Sollux found himself genuinely enjoying his time with Mituna, the first in years, and he felt genuine disappointment as the game glitched out worse than the last time. The same image kept recycling continuously as the character moved in unnerving fragments across the screen.

"Thith game lookth pothethed." Sollux commented, standing up and cracking his back. The soreness from that morning had intensified. Mituna stood up after him, unbothered from sitting on the floor for long periods. "You're like thixth yearth older than me.

How the fuck can you thtand thitting on the floor tho long? What wath the name of that game anywath?"

"Cauth you're a genetic weakling that'th why." Mituna countered. "And it'th called Trickthter Party."

"Thtupid name."

"Thmartetht thing you've thaid all day."

"Tho," Sollux was reluctant to mention his next thought, Mituna wouldn't like it, he never did. He only hoped his brother wouldn't have another fit. "Tho do you know what day it ith?"

"Why the fuck thould I? That'th knowledge that plebth like you need." Sollux ignored the insult and pressed on.

"It'th the theventeenth of May. Doeth that hold any thignificanth to you?" This was the tricky part, Sollux knew. If his brother got angry they would have to sedate him, and he didn't want to have to do that again.

"What'th the theventeenth again? It'th important right? It theemth important..." Mituna looked at Sollux quizzically before narrowing his eyes.

"MT jutht wait a thecond..."

"That'th when... Tholluckth that'th when Dad..." Sollux was not prepared for Mituna to move so quickly, and was alarmed to find himself shoved in a corner as his brother began pacing and yanking at his hair. "How could I forget? Thith'th ith terrible I need to, I need to do thoming! Tholluckth we need to get a boat, right now. We need to get to the othean!"

"You need to calm down." Sollux said in a way he hoped was soothing. "You're getting too exthited right now. What would do we need to do? I can't underthtand what you are thaying."

Mituna twisted his body violently to face Sollux, the look of desperation in his face made Sollux twitch back. The other advanced on him in quick strides before fisting hands in his tee.

"The fucking fith, you moron. We need to go find the fucking fith! They know where he ith and we've jutht left him there to rot!"

"We've been over thith before, there are no thuch thingth ath talking fith..." Mituna slammed Sollux against the wall hard enough to knock the wind from his lungs.

"You're not lithenining Tholluxth!" Mituna bellowed. "We need to go athk them tho we can thave him like he would have for uth!"

Sollux braced himself for another encounter with the wall when Mituna's grip slackened and he swayed on his feet. A hand stroked his face unsteadily as his eyes began to droop.

"You need to lithen, you need to believe me..." His eyes fell shut and his weight tilted him forward, Sollux leaping forward to catch him before he could impact the floor. Latula was standing a short ways back with an empty syringe in her hand. She was frowning at the pair with strange detachment.

"I came when I heard the shouting." she explained, tossing the syringe onto an overflowing trash can.

"I'm glad you did. Thould we take him to hith room?"

Together they lifted Mituna, supporting him on both sides and half dragged him into the hallway. They swung right, stopping in front of his door. Latula left Sollux to support his brother as she pulled out some keys and unlocked it. They dragged Mituna to the bed, settling in him before she motioned for them to leave. Behind him she relocked the door and they made their way to the living room. Sollux dropped onto the nearest couch and attempted to calm his nerves.

"Tho," he said, taking a deep breath, "the lock thing ith new."

"I don't like it." Latula admitted, tossing the keys away and collapsing onto a chair. "But we needed to implement something after he disappeared from the house. We didn't find him until we got a call from the port master, who claimed he caught him attempting to steal a boat."

"Why didn't I hear about thith thooner?"

"We knew you were busy with work and you couldn't afford the extra stress." She gave him an apologetic wince. "We knew that you would drop everything to come over here and completely freak out."

"I wouldn't have... no yeth, yeth I would." He ran his hands through his hair. "Anything elth I thhould know about?"

"Not really? For the most part he just plays games and I write reports to send in for him, then he sleeps and repeats the same cycle. He hadn't had a single fit until today, but it had to be coming by the way he was withdrawing."

"I thee."

"If anything you shouldn't blame yourself kid. He'll wake up in a few hours, demand a snack and go off to play video games again."

Latula departed to call her mother to inform her of what happened, and Sollux decided it was time to finally head home. He was just closing the front door behind him when the gate screeched.

He looked up and frowned as he came face to face with his other not sister, Terezi. They stood awkwardly facing each other before Terezi tried to open some dialogue.

"Sollux, it's been a long time since we've seen each other." She forced a grin. "How've you been doing? Left your cave to hang out with anyone lately?"

"Look, I'm going to thay thith right off the bat, quit it with the blind joketh." Sollux snapped. "I'm not buying and it thtopped being funny when you became a huge bitch. Thecondly, I am not going to give you any information about Karkat, don't even pretend that ithn't what you are after. If you want to know how he'th doing get off your ath and athk him yourthelf."

"He doesn't answer my messages." she countered. "I just want to know if he's doing okay. He lives out there by himself so it's not like I can just drop by and claim I happened to be in the neighborhood."

"Well he hath a very good reathon for not wanting to talk to you. Bethideth it'th not really any of your buthineth anymore ith it? After all you were the one who told KK you never wanted to thee him again and then _thlept_ with hith _boyfriend_!"

"There's nothing I could regret more than that decision!" she snapped, and Sollux sneered at her. "It was a terrible thing to do to him. I don't even know what I was thinking! If I hadn't decided to tell him about it..."

"You thouldn't have done it in the firtht plathe!"

"I know!" Terezi's voice slightly cracked and Sollux felt intense satisfaction at how much this was affecting her. "I know that! Do you think that I don't live with the fact that it was my actions that drove him out on the water that day? I live with that and I just want to know how he's doing!"

Terezi puffed before him, maintaining her poker face even as her shoulders heaved. Sollux couldn't hold back a single disbelieving giggle from passing his lips.

"If you feel tho bad go apologithe to him. Tell him how much what happened hurt you. It'th only hith life that wath ruined."

"Sleeping with Gamzee was the worst thing I could have done to him-"

"Don't you even fucking thay that! He wath already devethtated when you dethided from nowhere he wath no longer worthy of your prethenthe. You can't thay a thingle thing until you talk to him, and you need to thtop being thuch a coward about it TZ!"

Sollux stormed past her, shouldering her aside as he opened the gate. He heard her turn before he felt the hand on his shoulder, and he reached back to shove her off.

"Gamzee is getting released soon." Sollux froze at those words, a chill so deep that froze his bones. He forced himself to turn back and look at her, and the deep frown in her face made his stomach drop.

"What did you jutht thay?"

"I said, Gamzee is getting released soon. He's being let out for exemplary behavior. I filed an appeal but it was rejected."

"When doth thith happen?"

"I'm not sure. An exact date hasn't been scheduled, it could be a few weeks to a few months. Mom is trying to see if there's something we can do, at the most we made certain the elder Makara would not be receiving the same treatment. Karkat... hasn't been notified yet. I wanted to tell him in person since a letter would be too impersonal."

"No." Sollux squared his shoulders.

"No what?"

"You aren't going to thtick your fingerth in thith anymore. I'll tell him, and you can relegate everything to me. He thould hear it from thomeone he can trutht."

"Your bedroom is still upstairs." Terezi said quickly. "It hasn't been touched. Mom makes sure it is cleaned every week. I miss you Sollux, we used to be so close."

Sollux regarded her a moment before sighing. He turned his body in preparation to walk away, but decided to leave some parting words.

"That wath before I knew how terrible a perthon you could be. Don't expect my rethpect to thuddenly return without proof that you earned it." That said he left Terezi standing inside the gate. He had someone he needed to go see.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to The Tippy, glorious bastard was a nice touch.
> 
> Another chapter two months later! I'm setting up a once a month update schedule, so hopefully the chapters will remain consistently updating.
> 
> *The views and opinions of Indie games expressed by Mituna and Sollux do not reflect the views of the author. Retro revival side scroller games are fantastic.*


	4. Chapter 4

Despite the earliness of his departure it was well into late morning before he was reintroduced to his miraculously still existing house. The cabby - the only one who had been willing to navigate through flooded roads and scattered debris - had demanded extra for the trouble of driving him out so far. The argument had lasted several minutes, and at points it had seemed that coming to blows would be inevitable.

"You'd still be walkin knee deep where I found you! No one else was comin this way!"

"Excuse me, but it isn't my fucking fault you were too busy fondling yourself to mention the inability to do your basic goddamn job without conning wayward pedestrians! An extra fifty on top of fare is dick-rottingly un-fricken-believable. You should be ashamed of your very existence for suggesting it at all."

"You're a cheap asshole and I hope your house falls on top of you."

"Yeah, well, you probably take candy from babies."

In the end it took threatening to call his company for him to back down and leave, which Karkat was grateful for since the guy had looked like he could bench press a semi. If it had come to an actual altercation he would've only had two options available: cry or die. He wanted to be angry at Sollux for being such a late sleeper - and the lack of weight in his wallet certainly spurred on that feeling - but knowing it had been his own fault Sollux hadn't been able to sleep the night before humbled him quickly. Besides, the guy would need his space today, more than likely.

Overall the damage wasn't near as bad as he'd feared. Shards of wood were scattered everywhere suggesting the untimely demise of his fence, and the garage door had some rather sizeable dents on its front. The most prominent thing he could notice, however, was the dark section that cut the walls in near half, suggesting the water had flooded up to his shoulders. The asshole had been right, spending the previous night at home would have been terrifying, not that he would admit it to the others face. To his dismay the other side had fared much worse. Whereas the front had suffered what appeared as aesthetic damage, the rear of the house looked as though Poseidon had personally pointed at his backyard saying, 'and fuck that place in particular.' The fence was decimated, there was no other way Karkat could find to describe its state. The entire back line of it had been ripped right from the ground, leaving deep gouges in their wake. Only sections of the sides remained, the parts still standing residing closer to the house. Parts of it was scattered everywhere, making the pieces in front look like splinters.

The ocean, which hadn't pulled completely back yet, was still lapping mere feet away from the former barrier. Karkat could not prevent the groan from escaping upon discovery the state of his beloved pool. The pool had been the one feature he had actually requested - Kankri had announced it an absurd request with the ocean so near - but his father had looked at him with pity in his eyes (Karkat hated that look directed at him) and called a specialist for install. It had been his favorite thing, next to his romcoms and books. To see tiles ripped from their places, the torn metal of the in ground ladder twisted and ripped to a near unrecognizable form, the general destruction made his heart drop. This would not be an easy fix, and he wasn't sure if he could even request the money to repair it.

Knowing he would need proof of damage to satisfy his insurance company, he started up the steps to the porch. The structure shook menacingly before he made it to the split landing, and decided to take the garage entrance instead. Unsurprisingly the door leading in from the back had been ripped clear off its hinges, and was laying on top his overturned grill, along with the remnants of the former shelving. Stepping around the junk scattered around he did a quick inspection of the cooking apparatus and found it completely totaled. A few paces beyond was his Sunfish, the grill had acted as a barrier against any damage. He ignored the small boat, cast a last glance at what used to cook his burgers, and went inside.

"Rest in peace you piece of shit." where his parting words t the un-trusty contraption.

There was immediate relief to see everything inside was how he left it, a mess but one he caused and not the weather. The book he had been reading was still sitting pages down on the couch, and his manuscript was still acting as the worlds lousiest carpet. The only thing that was affected was the lower bath where the window had been broken with water and glass shards inside. Not something he really looked forward to cleaning, but with things as they were he knew it could have been much worse.

Karkat found his camera sitting on the fireplace mantel, and after placing fresh batteries in it he returned outside, starting with the front and working his way around. The porch was hard to photograph properly, as the structure appeared stable until used, but with some searching he found where the support had been damaged and took pictures of that. A quick inspection of the ones that supported his home all appeared to be undamaged.

The chore took the better part of an hour, getting the evidence as thoroughly as possible to prevent the chance of his insurance trying to screw him over. When satisfied the camera was deposited on the kitchen counter and he rolled his sleeves to his elbows. It was time to tackle what he could with the pool.

The water was cloudy, cloudier then it should be for a standing body of water, which immediately rose his suspicion. It wasn't unheard of for aquatic animals to be deposited by accident in pools and ponds inland after flooding, and if there was something in there it could explain the damaged support struts. He knew he needed to investigate, to be sure it was empty. If he called a repair crew and they encountered something dangerous, or something died and began to rot in there, well he didn't want to consider the ramifications. Reinforced with nothing but stubborn determination he took his telescoping pole into hand, jabbing the netted end into the whole five to twelve feet of depths.

The shallower end of the pool revealed little, there was obviously some heavier debris in there with the way the pole was catching on things. Once or twice he could swear something touched the pole independently of his will, but try as he might he could not see through the first couple inches. With no solid conclusions he moved deeper where managing the pole and avoiding obstructions became more difficult. There seemed to be less at the bottom the deeper he went, though the net caught on something and he had to wrestle it free again to the surface.

Inside the woven basket was a pair of glasses, mostly undamaged despite their location. A shudder ran down Karkat's spine as he took into consideration the possibility of instead of an animal, waiting for discovery could actually be a body. He really didn't want to call the police, he'd interacted with them enough to last him several lifetimes. He set the glasses on a relatively unperturbed patch of sand-grass before advancing to the deepest section.

His pole, unfortunately, was only fourteen feet and six inches (not the fifteen feet as advertised) in length and he had never needed to push it so deep before so in the awkwardness of handling it he was forced to kneel on the ground for better maneuverability.

The first warning that he had made a poor life decision came with a gentle yank on the pole, and in his stupidity he gave it a tug back. The pole jerked again, nearly pulled from his hands and he placed one foot to support him as he reared back to maintain its grip - and by doing so completely upset his center of balance. He realized his mistake as mid-motion the pole was violently heaved from his grip, sending him flying head first into the water.

The first few seconds were spent in confused terror. He thrashed around, the weight of his shoes and clothes pulling him down as he tried to find the way back to the surface. A behemoth shadow passed mere feet from him, and he screamed into the water, following the bubbles upwards. His head broke and he gasped deeply, filling his lungs with air as he glanced around wildly. At the opposite end a fin broke the surface, coursing back and forth before turning abruptly towards him.

"No!" Karkat screamed, thrashing out wildly towards the edge. "Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you!"

Reaching blindly his hands gripped the edge, white knuckling as he propelled himself from the pool, landing heavily on his side and yanking his feet after the rest of him just as the fin passed his location and disappeared. He pushed himself backwards, scrambling quickly as his breakfast hit the ground beside him. An arm, pale and gray came into view under the waves just long enough for him to see clearly before it vanished again.

"Oh fuck." He choked as he pushed himself on to shaking arms. His legs almost failed beneath him as the world went in and out of focus, the sea and sky blurring as he attempted to focus on the singular goal of getting inside. He needed his phone, he needed to call the police and report a dead guy in his pool that was being devoured by a shark and he could. not. breath.

Blindly he struggled up the first section of stairs, spurred unthinkingly by the sounds of breaching water behind him. He continued to climb even as the ground lurched beneath him, not registering the ominous creaks around and under him. He was not there he wasn't aware of the world around him, he was in the clouds drowning and couldn't breathe couldn't think and his heart beat so rapidly as if it planned to break through his ribcage and bleed him out like the person below.

His foot caught and he was staring at the bloodied water surrounding his small vessel as massive beasts with eyes black as void ravaged it with gigantic maws and teeth like saw blades, held inches from the frenzy of wild animals and their triggered bloodlust by the monster laughing behind him and he was going to die. Pleas for mercy filled his ears and he realized it was him coming like a mantra to a God he didn't believe and he was so sorry for going out and he would do anything just please...

He fell bodily to the side, slamming heavily against the railing and a crack like thunder pierced around him. The world lurched, slow at first but gaining speed as the stairs detached from the rest of the porch. The water that had been below rose to meet him in his descent, and he had just enough time to scream his anger at the world before slamming through the surface and sucked the life giving, life ending liquid deep into his lungs.


	5. Chapter 5

It turned out that there was no way to avoid talking to the police. They'd come and gone many times, asking him the same mind numbing questions, and he had to fight to answer through his throbbing headaches. Sollux, bless the lisping fuckers soul, eventually set the nursing staff upon them and effectively chased the boys in blue away. It wasn't terrible, he could admit silently to himself, but of fucking course he spent most of his time sleeping. Time didn't affect him the same way it affected the ones unfortunate enough to have to stay awake. If anyone asked he was solidly prepared to blame the narcotics.

  
"You'll have more Novocain then blood in your body if thith keepth up." Sollux told him, reaching over to gently mess with his hair. It was in those quiet, tender moments that Karkat found that no matter how tired, in pain, or drugged he was - he could still flip a deserving asshole the bird.

He had many visitors during his stay, some not so welcome as others. Most of them were earnest in their wishes for his recovery (or at least he fucking hoped) but a certain one of them thought that to aid him in this task he would share his words of wisdom, kindness, and condolences. Karkat was fairly certain that if his visitor didn't kill him, he would murder the other first.

"Honestly Karkat, one would think you incapable of living on your own, let alone even taking proper care of your health. You've always been so reckless and irresponsible, it's no wonder why you always get yourself into so much trouble. Honestly brother, one would think you care nothing about the hurt you cause others with your behavior. You are being very selfish and if father doesn't bring you home then I certainly will."

"I didn't do it on purpose you enormous arm-chair justice-jerking douche-canoe!"

"Yes, well, if you had already known the structure was so unstable why did you feel the need to tempt fate about it? I worry not only about your physical health, Karkat, but your mental health as well, as it seems to drive you to such incredibly stupid lengths."

Karkat's blood pressure spiked so immediately and sharply that his heart monitor started screeching in response, prompting the nurses to race in only to find the cause of distress was a very antagonistic brotherly hug.

The staff quickly ushered Kankri out - though it looked more like being forced out than anything else - as one stay to tell him there was another man waiting to see him. Well, as he had long known, where Kankri was his father was rarely, if ever, far behind. The nurse stepped out as another person stepped in, proving Karkat right once again. He tried to give his father a small smile as he pulled a chair to the bed, but awkward silence quickly descended between them. How did he use to start conversations with the man, Karkat wished he knew. Over the last several years the process of familial communication had become an arduous, if not rare, occurrence.

"So, uh," Karkat began eloquently, "did mom come with you?"

"No," his dad attempted a smile at him, "when she knew one of her wayward babes was confined to the safety of a hospital room she went searching for the other recklessly endangered one."

"Nepeta fled the state, didn't she?"

"I won't tell your mother if you don't." His father replied, eyes moving quickly towards a shadow at the door. They both chuckled before the elders face turned serious. "Do you remember how you ended up in that pool?"

Karkat shook his head slightly, the small movement eliciting a small spike of pain to rip through his skull. His dads' hands found their way into his hair at the first sign of a flinch, and Karkat couldn't help how the once common form of affection made him automatically relax.

"No, and I don't really remember what lead up to it either. I felt, scared, I think? I'm not sure why, but I might have been experiencing the start of another anxiety attack or something."

His father sighed deeply, and Karkat couldn't help but notice how tired the other looked. There were deep bruises under his eyes, and a day old shadow beginning to grow in. Despite the flash of pity he felt towards the man, Karkat still allowed his irritation flow forward. He clenched his teeth and gave his words more bite then was necessary, and he knew he was being childish but he was so tired ofbeing coddled.

"If you start sounding like Kankri I swear to have the mother of all aneurysms at both of your insistent babying because you think I'm not competent enough to handle myself! For fuck's sake dad I'm fine. It was only a freak accident, which isn't all that surprising considering how my house had just been subjected to the personal wrath of the king of fucking Atlantis. So what horrifying tragedy has occurred from this? Just a small bump on the head for my troubles, slight concussion, whoop de-fucking-do. Everybody is acting so irrationally distressed about such a minor injury despite the fact that this isn't actually the worst thing that's ever happened to me, by far, and you know it."

"Yes, I know that only too well!" His father replied sharply. "I've known it more times than any father should have to. I swear to God Karkat, I'm tempted to take you back home and lock you in your room if only to allow myself some peace of mind!"

"Nepeta subjects herself to dangerous situations more than I do! And for her it's on purpose! Why are you riding my ass about it?!"

"At least Nepeta it's clear with the risks she takes, I know that I may get a call at anytime, that the danger is a part of her job. At least with her we know! With you, though? I never know! Every day I wake up and think that this could be the day when something finally catches up to you. There is nothing, nothing, that scares me more than receiving the phone call that tells me you're gone, that my youngest son is dead and I won't ever get to know why, just that whatever the reason it was fucking pointless!"

The elder Vantas stopped there, breathing raggedly and trying to reign in his temper. Karkat felt black guilt gurgle up into his stomach, climbing until it wrapped its slimy tendrils around his heart, strangling it. His dad was folded over himself, elbows in his knees, head dropped, hands running through his own hair. Karkat wanted desperately to say something, anything that would help his father and calm his worries. He knew though, he knew he couldn't make any promises, that whatever words he spoke would only be empty promises. Out of all the dumb fuckers in the universe that it could have decided to shit on, it absolutely just had to be him.

Karkat jumped when a pair of large, warm hands engulfed one of his own, knowing he must of zoned out to justify the pain and obvious concern in his fathers' eyes. He shook his head minutely for assurance, and he was graced with a small quirk of the lips in return.

"Karkat," his father started, voice strained so he cleared his throat, "We moved you all the way out here, away from us, away from home, because it was supposed to be safe. They wouldn't be able to find you while you were so far away. How can I hold to this agreement, to justify it, if I can't even have the luxury of knowing you'll be alright?"

"It was an accident!" Karkat half yelled, voice thin and almost reedy from his pent-up emotions.

"You could have drowned!"

The roar seemed to surprise his father just as it surprised him, and they both fell back from each other as silence wrapped around them again.

"I remember when you never raised your voice," Karkat muttered to his sheets.

"Karkat." His father tried, after a minute had passed. "Son."

He took all the mental strength he could muster and forced himself to look back up at his dad.

"You are very... very precious to me. You're my son, my Karkat." The elders face looked so earnest, so pained and pleading for Karkat to understand that he reached out to squeeze the others hand. "I've, I have tried to lead you and your brother through life safely and happily, and I know in that I have failed, at least for you. I have tried to impart on you the courage and the wisdom to face whatever life throws your way, but I was not prepared to teach you how to overcome so much. I'm not exactly sure what happened with your brother, but you have managed to somehow take that knowledge and push through things I cannot even fathom."

He couldn't stop the sudden bark of laughter, and his father grinned unrepentantly at the teasing of his older son.

"You've faced more hardship than anyone deserves," his voice grew somber again, "and I know that of all the things you value, independence is at the top of the list. I tried to restrict it once before and you were nearly broken because of it, so I guarantee I will not force you now or ever to come back home with me. In return you need to promise me, promise this one thing. If you find yourself in any need of help, or if you feel unsafe, or Sollux gets too annoying," Karkat snorted again, "that you will call me first. I honestly do not think my old heart can go through another one of those calls like the one I got yesterday morning."

Karkat took a moment to find the words to respond, but before he could formulate any a nurse bustled his way inside holding a syringe with clear liquid inside.

"Mister Vantas, I am sorry to tell you but I think it best if you let your some get some rest." As he spoke the nurse injected the liquid into the IV drip. "You are more than welcome to come and visit tomorrow, but for the rest of the day I insist the young man needs some peace."

"Of course, yes, I understand." The older Vantas muttered, rising from his chair. He reached for his sons hand, giving it a light squeeze before moving to comb his fingers through Karkat's tousled locks. Karkat could already feel his eyelids growing heavy, and with the combination of the drugs and the comforting gesture he could feel himself already dropping off. "Promise me."

Karkat wasn't able to respond.

 

 

Two days passed before the doctors allowed Karkat to leave. To say he had grown cantankerous while confined to his bed was putting it mildly, and even as the nurses said their goodbyes he could swear he heard sighs of relief as well. Sollux left him in a wheelchair by the front doors so he could bring his car up, and Karkat cursed the contraption because he walk on his own, thank you very fucking much.

"It's hospital policy," was the response Karkat had received after vehemently protesting with many unkind words.

When Sollux finally appeared in his jeep Karkat made it a point of standing himself, using enough force to push off the hands intending to help and sending the chair skittering backwards. Sollux regarded him with a raised eyebrow as he very pointedly stomped to his friends car, taking extra care to exaggerate each foot fall on the way. His point was made and quickly ruined when he reached the vehicles door puffing for breath, feeling so incredibly light headed and woozy he needed to hold to it to stay standing.

The nurses seeing him off rolled their eyes at the pathetic display while Sollux didn't even bother trying to muffle his giggles, and Karkat scowled as he dragged himself into the passenger's seat.

"Thanks for the help you two-toned ink stain." Karkat grumbled as he buckled his seat belt.

"Charming ath ever, I thee." Sollux replied, putting the car into gear and pulling out towards traffic. "Mutht not be doing too badly if you're already putting up thith muth futh."

"Oh I'm peachy, certainly right as rain! Just had the best five-day vacation one could hope for in my white-washed sterilized hell." Karkat sneered, but there was no energy behind it and Sollux grinned broadly at him.

"Well at leatht there theemth to be no lathting damage, as you are ath unpleathant ath alwayth, but you weren't there for five dayth KK. You were there for over a week. Did no one tell you that you were unconthiouth for theveral dayth?"

"Over a week?" Karkat mouthed to himself, and suddenly his fathers' level of concern made much more sense. "They... they might have tried but I wasn't really allowing them the opportunity to say anything."

"What? With your childith temper tantrumth and general pith poor attitude? Nah I'm thure they had a wonderful time taking care of you."

"I should write an apology letter, shouldn't I?" Karkat groaned into his hands.

"Thend them a fruit bathket. No, I think I wath the tough one they had to deal with. Did you know I got tothed out of the building, twithe? Onthe in the firtht twenty-four hourth, even."

"How did you manage that? How did you even know where I was?"

"I had pothibly lotht thome of my compothure after dragging my unconthiouth betht friend there after dithcovering him thoaking wet and bleeding from hith head by hith pool." Sollux's knuckles were turning white on the steering wheel. "It wouldn't be out of plathe to thay that my thit had been thoroughly flipped."

"Oh." Karkat responded intelligently. "Sorry."

Sollux turned his jeep down the last three-mile stretch of road to his house. The city had worked quickly, he saw. If he hadn't seen the storm that landed just (days?) recently, he wouldn't have suspected it at all.

"Thome thingth might be a bit different when we get back to your houthe." Sollux declared, breaking the silence. Karkat shot him a wary glance as his friend pulled into the gas station near his home. "Oh don't look at me like that, it'th nothing you'll be too upthet about, well at leatht I hope but you can be thuch a drama baby thometimeth, I thwear."

"Pot-kettle Sollux." Karkat bit out, and his friend threw back his head and laughed.

"Jutht thit here and wait a little bit, I need to grab thome thingth. You'll be pleathed when you thee it, I promithe."

Karkat eyed Sollux dubiously as his friend left the jeep, swaggering into the store. He was tempted to hoof it back to his house on foot, it was only a mile, but he knew he wouldn't get far before Sollux caught up with him so he dismissed the thought. He settled back into his seat with a sigh, maneuvering in an attempt to make himself more comfortable. He was grateful to his friend, he really was, if Sollux was the one to find him he must have been the one to pull him from the water. Without Sollux getting there to help, he would have died.

That single revelation sent a chill darting down his spine, the cold spreading to his limbs and settling deeply within his bones. He had already had too many near-death experiences in his life, way more than any one person could deserve. Personally he wasn't particularly keen on seeing that list grow any longer.

He certainly hoped it didn't, and if he could deal with whatever was in his pool quietly then perhaps he could stops its progress. He had lied when he said he remembered nothing about what lead up to the accident, though he didn't know how he got from the water - and more than likely under the ruins of his once deck - and back to dry ground. He absolutely didn't tell his story to any of the doctors that had been lurking about, asking him how felt about this and that experience. If he had mentioned it he was certain there would have been some persuasive - possibly forcibly - insistence that he stayed at the hospital longer. Something had dragged him into the water that day, and he wasn't entirely certain that a shark with enough power to fling him head over heels was small enough to survive undiscovered in his pool.

Panic had driven him to climb the structurally unsound deck, and panic could be blamed for warping whatever he thought he saw underneath the waves, but he was thinking clearly now. He would confront the creature when he got home, but as Sollux reappeared from the depths of the store, arms laden with plastic bags, he had to acknowledge that everything hadn't gone wrong. He was alive still despite fate's best attempts, and that had to count for something, didn't it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So when I said once a month I guess I meant once-at-some-random-point-in-time. Here you go!


	6. Chapter 6

His house was clean, which was the second major difference Karkat found upon arriving home. The first major difference was there were no remnants of debris or other storm damage left scattered about outside, but holy hell his house was clean. Karkat couldn't remember the last time it had looked not completely shitty. Had his carpet always been that white?

He inspected his home from top to bottom, entirely blown away by the care his friends had taken to restoring the place after the storm. The busted window had been replaced, and his refrigerator had been restocked with actual edibles, and not just cheap dubiously named fish. The place was almost like it had been when he first moved in, and he knew that the restoration had to have come from his Dad's paychecks.

"I'll have to send him a thank you later," Karkat grumbled, looking down to the backyard. His fence had also been repaired. "I suppose I need to thank you for arranging this, asshole."

Sollux's snores were his only response.

He hadn't come home expecting his house to be back in living state, and he certainly had not been expecting to see his family and friends gathered there to welcome him home from hospice. He may have been so moved that he cried a little. The party that followed had been unexpected, but at least he now knew that Sollux had an affinity for the little cone hats. He had two on his head right now, one red one blue.

It was late, and Karkat knew that it was beyond the time he should have gone to bed, but the last of the guests had just departed (minus the bum on his couch) and he had a monster to face.  
Without waking his friend, Karkat stepped over to the garage door, wincing as it squeaked on its hinges. There were no interruptions in the snoring, so Karkat inched down the stairs, leaving the door ajar behind him. Everything had been put back where it belonged and there was a brand new freezer sitting against the back wall, but his Sunfish was gone and he couldn't ignore the sharp pang he felt at its absence.

"Haven't touched it in years and now I'm feeling sentimental?" Karkat groaned, rubbing his hands over his eyes. "I never washed the blood from it. Why should I care?"

He turned to face the freezer in order to inspect its contents and nearly wailed at the sight of the mass of boxed fish fingers. A note was taped disarmingly on the top of the vomit inducing succulents, and wondered how a single drunken night could come back to haunt him so thoroughly.

_Karkat,_

_Everything in your fridge had gone bad so we had no choice but to toss it._  
_I know you were tight on money this month, so your mother and I restocked it with_  
_some more variety then just your fish fingers, but we also included this since you_  
_seem to like them so much. It's weird though, I could have sworn you hated them._

_Love, Dad._

God. Fucking. Dammit.

It was with disgust that he finally turned and marched out to his backyard, barely noting the door outside was back and a brand new grill was sitting by it, and made a cautious bee line to the pool. He stopped some feet from its edge and surveyed the remnants of the deck still within it. His dad had told him that it was going to be fixed, no matter how Karkat had argued, but it was going to wait until his parents could come back to see him.

It was better this way, Karkat thought, since no one else would face the danger of the thing lurking beneath the surface. He would never forgive himself if anyone got hurt on his account, not after all the trouble he had caused.

The water was calming as it always was, especially when the moon reflected off its surface. On nights when he couldn't sleep he would lay on his back and simply float, staring up at the sky pretending he was in the ocean. It wasn't difficult to imagine, he could hear the waves on the beach and feel the breeze that swept in towards shore. It was the only time he could clear his mind and not feel the terror well inside him once again. He had felt safe, like he was a kid again and the worst thing that could happen was getting shoved into a locker or failing a test.

Now with this there was nothing to curb that vicious stab of anxiety, clawing its way from the back of his subconscious. His last sanctuary had been stripped from him and he wanted it back. Karkat lifted a sizeable stick and swung it once or twice to check its strength. While that thing was in there he had no way to retreat from his head, and now he wanted revenge.

 

He had been dreaming of warmth, of hearing his computers humming against the backdrop of waves as his arms wrapped around a person beside him. The scent of honey and spice overran his senses and he couldn't give a single damn about it. It had been the happiest sensation he had experienced, like the peace that settled in ones brain after coming out of a depressive spell. Ecstasy in the baseline is what he would call it, the sweetest type of sugar you didn't know you needed until it turned bitter and harsh on your tongue.

Being jerked into sudden alertness ruined that mood, and he smothered down his irritation from being cock blocked by his own brain. He stood up and stretched, groaning as several pops echoed up his spine. That dream had been going to steamy places, he could still feel the phantom tangle of lips on his, and he contemplated sneaking off to a bathroom before returning to sleep. What had woken him though was a bit of a mystery, there was nothing nearby that could have solicited such an instant wakening. He could hear nothing but the whir of the fridge, the breeze rustling the foliage outside, and the distant crescendo of screaming.

Wait.

Logical thought was replaced with the drumming repetition of 'where's Karkat' and his feet were already carrying him to the kitchen. His friend wasn't in the room but he noted the outline of the open door. He was halfway down the stiars when the screaming stopped.

Bursting out in the yard he heaved in relief when he saw Karkat alive and in one piece, and had he mentioned alive yet? He wasn't well though, and Sollux was dropping to his knees beside his friend, noting the symptoms of a blatant anxiety attack.

"KK!" Sollux's hands hovered near the other, "KK look at me."

An incident involving oncoming traffic made Sollux hesitate to actually touch his friend, a lesson learned the hard way, but as Karkat's heaving breaths became heavier Sollux was considering outright disregarding his 'no touchy' rule.

Karkat took him by surprise when his hands connected harshly with Sollux's shoulders and the world tipped backwards and sideways so violently he could almost believe they were still in traffic and the last few years had been nothing more than a pre-death hallucination. Karkat falling on top of him and then elbowing his ribs drove that thought away, but any irritation was replaced with confusion as he saw his friend kneel in front of him. Karkat was crouched defensively, facing away from him and cursing so thoroughly and swearing vengeance so painful if something ever tried grabbing Sollux again.

It was adorable, with Karkat bristling at the edges with anger but Sollux was cold, sore, and confused. He needed answers and he needed them now. So he shoved his friend over. The following spluttering was amusing, and Karkat's face grew crimson as Sollux failed to stifle a grin.

"Do you know that you have shoved us both sixteen centimeters closer to being eaten alive?!" Karkat snarled.

"What are you talking about?" Sollux raised an eyebrow before glancing around for emphasis. "Why are you even out here right now?"

"I'm dealing with it. Go back inside and slobber on my couch you festering excuse for a homo-ignoramus."

"For fuck's sake! I'm not going to eat you, what is wrong with all you lan' dwellers assumin' that all the glubbin' time?"

The third voice was entirely unexpected and Sollux shrieked as Karkat's hand flew to clutch his chest. Curious, Sollux pushed Karkat aside to see the new comer.

"KK?" Sollux removed his glasses and polished them on his shirt. He placed them back on his face and blinked for extra measure. "KK what ith that?"

Karkat was too busy beating his fist over his heart and choking on his breath for any added commentary.

Leaning out of the water and over the edge of the pool was a entirely normal human torso, a slightly less human head, and some rather unique pair of arms. A pair on entirely inhuman set of shark teeth were being displayed as the creature tried to grin at them. Sollux supposed it thought it was being friendly. Karkat hissed at it like an angry kitten and Sollux noted an entirely unnecessary replacement appendage.

"Where are your legth?" Sollux usually asked the hard-hitting questions, apparently today was not one of those days.

"My what?" Actual fins flared on its neck and sides. "Speak English you gill-less grass sucker!"

"Wow, rude." Was Sollux's thorough and well-thought retort. Karkat, who was apparently unhappy with Sollux's interrogation skills picked then to rejoin the conversation.

"Legs! He is asking where your waddle appendages are! Which is a perfectly acceptable question, in case you were wondering, because you don't have any! Legs, that is. Strider's blistering vocal hole, you don't have any legs. Sollux! Sollux he doesn't have any legs." As he spoke his voice rose in pitch, and Sollux decided to halt his friends collapse into hysteria via the application of his hand to the others' mouth.

"Thooth you blubbering goddamn panthy."

"Of all the fuckin' boxed up water contraptions in all the coast, I had ta get stranded in this one." The man, the fish? He had a tail for fuck's sake. Man-fish? Grumbled. "Is this land where the humans stash all their sub-moronic ones, because I thought Kan was a low standard for intelligence but you two take the harpoon and drive it into the cod-damn hilt on idiocy."

"You call uth moronth but whoth the oneth who can walk away from thith converthation? Not you, athhole. Thith mutht be why your thtuck here, you're a jackath and the thea jutht couldn't contain any more of your thit."

"We've established that I don't have legs!" The fish-man twisted and a glistening silver tail flashed in the moonlight. It looked a lot like a shark fin, and judging by the harsh intake of breath next to him Karkat must have noticed as well. Whatever this was, whatever this kind of situation they were having was swiftly devolving. Karkat was pushing back onto his feet, and Sollux wasn't sure he was fond of the part-panicky part- dissociative expression settling in. If answers were going to gather and shit to remain unflipped he needed to wrangle the shenanigans into a manageable state. "Let's move onto the next topic at hand."

"KK athk quethtionth now freak out later, okay?" Karkat opened his mouth to retort but Sollux stood and pressed a finger against his lips and shushed him again. Their softness was familiar. Stupid subconscious. "Don't fight it KK you'll thank me after we're done."

"What the hell are you?" Not the start Sollux had in mind but at least it worked.

"Of all the... excuse you?" Perhaps it didn't work quite so well. Sollux stepped in to translate for his friend.

"What he meanth ith what thpethieth are you? Humanth have a long thtanding myth talking about people with fith tailth, but there ithn't much thtock put in them. Thuffice to thay, we are both unnerved and pothibly unhinged at the thight of you."

"Everythin' that comes outta' your mouth is a ship wreck." It sneered at them, lashing it's tail in obvious irritation. "I have, as you say, 'a fish tail' and live in the ocean. For clarification it's that big blue wet thin' over yonder, you know that thin' that big boats sit on?"

"We know what the ocean is jackass!" Karkat snapped. "What are you doing in my favorite pool?"

"There a storm that blew inland a few weeks back. I was stranded durin' it and don' wanna be here. It's cramped an' I'm starvin' and want to get back to deeper waters. Get me back to the ocean and we can all ignore this happened."

"You have got to be thitting me if you honethtly think we are coming anywhere near your proximity."

"You've been in there without food for two-in-a-half weeks?"

Eridan groaned and ran a (webbed) hand through his hair, and Karkat was standing pensively next to Sollux.

"Now I'm tryin' ta be patient with the both a' you, and I'll admit this isn't exactly the mos' expected of meetin's to happen and you both are flounderin' a bit. But I gotta say I've got a bit of a temper and my patience is wearin' thin. I'd hate to hurt either you guppies but..."

"Touch KK and I thwear I will tear off your finth and feed your gullet by thtuffing them down your inthufferable throat."

"Way to be like every other land dweller and be an absolute waste of resources."

"Thuck my dick you pathetic excuthe for a goldith."

They continued to bicker counter-productively, so Sollux hadn't noticed that Karkat had slipped away until he returned with a determined look in his eyes and arms laden with the burden of bright cardboard boxes.

"I have no idea if these disgusting abominations will be palatable to you, but they're supposedly made with actual fish meat and not whatever they've dug from the trash." Karkat said as he pushed a single box towards the creature with a stick. "Though if you've been in there as long as you say without food, I'd imagine any kind of crap disguised as sustenance would taste like the world's most coveted can of caviar."

"Caviar?" It asked.

"Baby fith eggth." Sollux replied helpfully.

A horrified croak came from the pools occupant, and Karkat glared at Sollux from the corner of his eyes.

"That's barbaric, an' I refuse to partake in any sacrilegious food item that's in any part related to 'em." He maturely threw the box at Karkat.  
Karkat took the box and ripped it open, stuffing his hand inside with more force than necessary. With a fish stick in hand he chucked it, smacking the creature in its face.

"Fine, my choice of words sucked, now sink your nightmare teeth into that delectable shit stick and stop starving to death. I have no desire to keep a single box of these and would willingly sacrifice every last one to make sure you do not die and pollute my pool."

With that Karkat threw several boxes over. It sniffed the flaky fish item suspiciously, but with a thoughtful hum it was sacrificed to its thoracic cavity and awaiting gullet. It had barely finished swallowing before it was tearing into the other boxes, stuffing its face with undignified grace.

"I have to thay," Sollux stated, "I hate you already, but I have to admire your tenathity and fortitude for thothe thitty excutheth for cuithine."

The creature glared, but was too preoccupied with stuffing itself to be bothered to respond with more than a middle finger. Its hands were webbed so the maneuver drew an impressed hum from both Sollux and Karkat.

"So," Karkat shifted awkwardly, "My name is Karkat, and this asshole is Sollux."

"Dithpleathure I'm thertain."

"Until we manage to get you to the ocean we should call you something. Do you have a name or something? Please not a series of sounds or whale noises, like I wouldn't even bother trying to say I'd just call you Nemo."

"Nemo?" Sollux asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I like the movie, okay?" Karkat shot back defensively.

Sollux snickered before lowering his tone.

"You're fine with thith? You're fine with letting thith thing thtay here, in your pool, like thome thort of uninvited guetht until we figure out how to get it back to the othen or it eatth uth?"

The merman stopped stuffing its face and swallowed, huffing impatiently to get their attention. Karkat's face softened when they turned around, and of course it would out of pity for Karkat to call peace.

Like a kid dragging in an injured animal begging his mom to keep it.

_"Can I keep this fish guy I found in the backyard mama? It talks and wants to eat me."_

Yeah, Mother Leijon would be so down for that.

An elbow planted firmly in his stomach brought Sollux out his daydream of terror and death to see the fish-man was going to say something.

"My name is Eridan," Eridan glanced between Sollux and Karkat. His face spread into that triangle teeth terror grin and Sollux tried not the shutter. "Eridan Ampora and I am the Prince of these waters, thank you very much. An of all the ridiculous clam-trap shit, I'm not gonna eat anyone, 'specially not you two. That'd be fuckin' unconscionable."

They were keeping the scaly asshole. Whoop-dee-fuckin-doo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eridan's joined the party!
> 
> This chapter has been written in one sitting, from midnight until 3:20 am, and has not been proof read or betta'd. Proceed with caution. I'll come back and touch it up a bit later.
> 
> This fic is not dead, and I still appreciate each and every kudos and comment again. All of you rock super hardcore and your patience is the stuff legends are made of. That being said, I have the rest of the plot laid out and waiting, all it needs is to be written. I'm going to follow this story through, so even if it takes a while it will be complete.  
> __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

**Author's Note:**

> Rewrite of the original story that died with my laptop. May you rest in pieces you piece of shit.


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